This funny article will shamelessly expose absurdities that have been printed in newspapers throughout the U.S. Do you want to have some fun yourself, join the fun and find more of those. Meanwhile, read our top 10 hilarious newspaper headlines.
Hide and Seek

Guess the Australian Army can be a little proud of itself here. They may be incompetent enough to lose an entire truck, but at least they gave it a remarkable paint job.

Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other

This store’s customers can take comfort in knowing just how much the company wants to help save them money.

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right

We’ll speak for all women when we say “chick” is never a respectful term—even sarcastically. But at least they didn’t call her “honey,” “baby,” “sugar,” “sweetie”…well, you get the picture.
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I

The irony of this clip is obvious, but let’s be serious for a moment: How could anyone misspell this state’s name when learning its rhyme is as American as apple pie?
Laugh In

Rachel and Daniel really make a lovely couple. Let’s hope for their future kids’ sake they don’t choose to hyphenate.
Early Bird Special

When Grandma and Grandpa accepted the invitation to dinner, they probably didn’t realize they’d be on the menu.
Feeling Raw

Not only did deadly E. coli bacteria force this guy to resign—he couldn’t even claim a job “well done.”
A Wee Bit Insulting

Don’t Drink the Water

Really? Um, yeah. Don’t worry about it
Follow Your Nose

You get one shot to guess why the sewer smells!

Some DNA tests have revealed that Adolf Hitler may have Jewish and African roots. The German Dictator, Adolf Hitler has been known to be a person who greatly hates these people.

Apparently, saliva samples were taken from 39 of the German’s dictator relatives which included his cousin named Norbert H who was an Austrian farmer and a grand nephew named Alexander Stuart-Houston, an American. According to a Belgian news magazine, the results revealed by the said samples strongly suggest that Hitler most probably descended from Jewish and North African people.

Journalist Jean-Paul Mulders and known historian Marc Vermeeren were behind these DNA testing which they conducted earlier this year. Mulders and Vermeeren have managed to get a sample of Hitler’s DNA by following Stuart-Houston for almost a week. Stuart-Houston accidentally dropped a used napkin on the ground and the duo took the samples from that. Accordingly, the DNA on the napkin has led them to more of Hitler’s relatives from Europe to America.

In the series of DNA tests conducted, a chromosome called “Haplopgroup E1b1b” was found. This chromosome during Hitler’s time was very rare among German people as well as those living in Western Europe. According to Vermeeren, this chromosome is commonly found in Morocco, Algeria, Libya, and Tunisia as well as Ashkenazi and Sephardic Jews.

The result is quite surprising, although this is not actually the first time that historians suggested that Adolf Hitler has Jewish roots. His father was actually rumored to be the illegitimate child of a maid and a 19-year old Jewish man named Frankenberger. Some historians believed that Hitler knew this fact, but has done everything he can to conceal the truth.

The Daily Mail also reported that the said DNA tests was conducted under strict laboratory conditions in order to make sure that the results generated will not be compromised. So there is great possibility that the DNA results are really accurate enough and may have actually revealed Hitler’s real ancestral roots.

Hitler may not have been pleased with these results since these are the same people he greatly despised. Although it is quite interesting to know how this information will affect both supporters and opponents of the German dictator.

Some people may find it hard to believe that the German dictator Adolf Hitler may actually have Jewish and African blood running in his roots. Adolf Hitler’s ancestry has been questioned for so many decades now and this might give some clarifications. So what can the Jewish and African people say about this? It is really quite interesting to know.

I like to watch amazing race, but not the whole season– I’m just cherry-picking, and if a certain episode is something that’s unusual, then that’s it! I mean, if you will watch it since season 1 until season 17, then certainly it will be like a drug that you want to get out of your system immediately. Because it will be too boring!

Yesterday, this so-called ‘teaser’ for the upcoming Amazing Race hits the tube. And oh boy! Those lame ‘ole tricks, surely did make the people laugh. And that includes me, but not entirely.

Check it out:

Woh, did you see that water-melon in slow motion? Now, I didn’t laugh at the time. The only time I did, is when the contestant say, “What do we do now?”, and the blonde anchor’s reply was “You have to finish it”. Provided that this footage was real, then certainly, its like a WTF scenario.

Was this scene fake? Because a watermelon at that size hitting you is already painful. But to shatter it in your face like that? – I would be happy if you will only suffer a mild concussion over that one.

The strange thing here is, the people there are so unaffected. And the contestant too is saying ‘she can’t feel her face’ like she doesn’t mean it.

Anyway, nice one CBS for pulling this one off, but some of your viewers says ‘otherwise’.

If you are a normal netizen, then you probably watched youtube a dozen of times by its ‘most viewed category for the day’, perhaps just for pleasure and fun. Likewise by doing so, you encountered this goth-chick with a voluptuous body which can speak Japanese and resembles a real life sexy-anime fantasy all at the same time. Please welcome, Miss Hannah Minx!

We searched Google hoping to see, if her real life name was really ‘hannah minx’ or more about her biography, but everything seems to be a bit vague. Perhaps, to protect her identity. Anyway here’s what we found. Remember, we’re just chewing the pages of Google here.

Biography:

According to her youtube channel, Miss Hannah Minx is a youtube vlogger and a University student as well. Her age is 21 (she is older today) Her hometown is at Philly, and country in Japan. She started her first youtube channel on July 18, 2008 and started her second one (bonusminx) Just recently this July 6, 2010. The theme of her videos are all about the Japanese culture. Usually, her fashion is on Goth.

One of her usual routines is to have a JWOW (Japanese word of the week) wherein she explains to the audience what’s the meaning of a certain word and use real life objects to describe it fully. Her videos are usually begin with a greet “Mina san, konnichiwa” which means “hello everyone” and her background music is very catchy. Much like from a video game.

Popularity:

Hanna Minx videos are always viral and currently she is #57 – Most Subscribed (All Time) – Directors, #1 – Most Subscribed (All Time) – Japan, #1 – Most Subscribed (All Time) – Directors – Japan garnering a total upload views of 26,275,533, total channel views of 3,158,191 and hitting an estimate of 165 thousand subscribers.

Controversy:

Due to her bodacious body and D-cup size breast (we assume), anyone who laid eyes on one of her videos are being allured to watch her over and over again. Some commenters are claiming that the only reason she became popular is because of her cleavage, greatly exposed on each of her clips. While others are very happy about the way she presents the Japanese culture in Youtube. Anime fans call her as a goddess, anime queen, etc. Haters call her a Japanese wannabe bitch, fake-breasted jap, etc.

Our take:

The fact that Youtube doesn’t seems to be offended about her videos means it’s alright. Youtube is a place to relax and to have fun. And frankly, if you don’t like her videos then just press alt F4. There are billions of more videos for you to choose from. But seriously, if you’re a a guy, would you want to do that? – I’m just sayin’

How to contact her:

If you want to know more about her, you can reach Hannah through her twitter account or Facebook. Just make sure what you will ask is something sensible and not smutty. Like the other dirty-tom which came before you.

Most Popular Videos:

If you haven’t seen something that will make you say “WTF” for this weekend, then this video would certainly make you wanna — Over and over again. Check it out.

I can’t even begin to imagine being on that place at a Walmart shop. So apparently, there’s this guy and his GF who’s too drunk to stand up (Which looks like a far-version of Ke$ha) So the green-guy’s solution was to shoot her GF inside the cart like a grocery bag and handle the situation like a real man.

I didn’t go laughing that much until the 2:50 mark starts. When Mr. Green-man had started to put kesha inside the cart and start throwing those bags like he’s going to sell the girl at the counter.

The greatest part about this video is the guy filming this clip mercilessly and that Walmart lady at the counter who’s mischievously laughing with him when green-guy starts to pound the bags on kesha.

That makes you want to ask, are drunks allowed in WalMart on the first place? —  I know, this guy isn’t!

Most people associate college or university with the pursuit of certain standards of academics and the attainment of prestigious degrees that aid their owners in getting special jobs or careers that they will love for a lifetime and have pretty decent starting salaries in comparison to someone who just finishes high school or secondary school but goes no further. However, with the growth in random areas of expertise and incredible amounts of detailed specialization in already established subject matter, several institutions of higher education have had to spread the base curriculum in order to allow their students to compete in a world of new areas of study and unique fields of interest. Even though they may not openly promote or publish these very different majors of study in their colleges or universities, degrees are still there for the taking for people who look closely enough. Do you think that higher education is limited to normal things like English, physics, or psychology? Perhaps it’s time to think again and take a look into all the new and weird offerings of college and university institutions.

1.
Comic Book Art

Everybody has a weakness for comics—whether they are in the form of complex graphic novels or simple doodles in the funny pages of the newspaper. However, a great deal of time and effort (from the artists and the writers) is put into these items that we may brush off as passing fancies. Just think of how many movies have been made recently that get their ideas, characters, and premises from the hidden shelves at your local comic book store. The Minneapolis College of Art and Design takes comic book art seriously enough to have it as a singular, special major even if not everyone going through the program is going to be the next Stan Lee in the realm of the graphic novel.

2.
Bakery Science

Many culinary schools have a special focus in baked items with several classes that show students how to incorporate breads and sweets into unique menus which can be used to spice up a restaurant that wants a new taste. However, most of the people who work specifically in bakeries tend to be part of a family business where they are trained in running a bakery (and only a bakery) after years of apprenticeship on the job. Kansas State (and several other reputable colleges) have taken the traditional hands on approach to running a bakery a step farther to establish a fixed curriculum where students learn to operate a bakery and encourage their flare for baking in general without having to focus on other areas of the culinary arts.

3.
Golf Course Management

Ever since Tiger Woods pulled golf into the main stream and showed that it wasn’t necessarily just a sport for over the hill white guys, the general public has started to develop a soft spot for it. What does that mean? It signifies that more people want to play golf and need more access to courses. To meet this need, several colleges throughout the U.S. (such as Queen’s University of Charlotte and the University of Central Florida) have developed undergraduate programs that focus on golf course management where the students learn how to build and design golf courses and then how to manage them and turn them into destination resorts of their own where visitors can relax in a specialty spa after taking in a few holes on the green.

4.
Adventure Recreation

Adventure sports like scuba diving, snowboarding, white water rafting, and bungee jumping are big business. People are wanting controlled ways to break out of their normal nine-to-five office life and these sports on fun mini-breaks and vacations are the perfect release. Who is going to supply these cubicle monkeys with their fun though? If you have a passion for adventure sports and enough experience to train others, you might want to look in the undergraduate programs at Green Mountain College in Vermont that aim at helping people like you in establishing their own businesses in the area of adventure recreation where they can train newcomers to the sports and just show people a fun, exciting time that is a bit out of the norm.

We’ve heard and known about Kevlar being famous for its use in the manufacture of bulletproof and stab proof vests—but what about a silk out of none other than a certain spider specie’s web that is said to be even tougher than the former? You might be thinking if that is even possible. Well, it is!

Darwin’s Bark Spider, discovered by biologist Matjaz Kutner back in 2008, is the specie responsible for weaving the web of silk that could test Kevlar’s reputation and actually break its record. Darwin’s Bark Spider is one of the several arachnid species that are considered as orb-weavers. Orb-weaver spiders have three claws, and builds flat webs with sticky spirals of silk.

The spider is discovered and found in the jungles of Madagascar, and weaves the biggest web of all spiders, at an area of up to 2.8 square meters, with silk that is considered as the toughest biological substance discovered so far. With the record of being ten times tougher than Kevlar itself, how tougher can one substance go? Its fiber’s average recorded toughness is 350 MJ/m3, some up to 520 MJ/ m3, making the silk twice as strong as other spider silks.

It is also said that the web’s strands must first endure massive kinetic energy before it should break. The silk’s elasticity should be the answer to the “why is it so tough” questions, but its molecular structure is yet to be studied further.

The spider’s web also occupies a unique and incredible biological niche, as the Darwin Bark Spiders build their web with the orb suspended and hanging just above a body of water: a river or a lake. This kind of habitat is being used by no other spider specie (at least none of those known to human kind). The spider’s tough silk and the enormous web are believed to have coevolved together at the same time, as the spider eventually adapted to the habitat and environment it has been living in.

It is also still a thing of wonder how these small spiders maintain and produce such tough substance. It is a given that the web itself plays a major role in providing food for the spiders, but with just insects as food, it is interesting if those insects are so nutritious that it could make the spiders produce the tough silk. (It is said that it is possible for the spiders and the web to catch bigger animals such as birds and bats, but the experts who have been studying the spiders haven’t seem do it yet.)

(image via: dailymail.co.uk)

When most people think of slavery, the historic “triangular” or Trans-Atlantic slave trade which brought thousands of native African peoples to the Americas for forced labor is the standard that comes to mind first. While this case certainly was not the first time in history massive numbers of people were pushed into slavery (just think of the countless slaves of the Roman Empire from lands and civilizations they had just conquered or the slave class in any other major ruling civilization throughout history and the world), it is the most recent one seared into the global memory. However, the trading of slaves slowly became illegal in the major trade empires of Britain, Spain, and Portugal. The American Civil War then cemented in place the illegality of the possession and usage of slaves a good bit after slaves were prohibited in other parts of the globe. This major transition into a humanist way of thinking where slavery became an ultimate evil has just been integrated into modern value systems and simply assumed to be accepted by everyone.

The premise of slavery being so wrong that it has died out has actually allowed it to sneak back into operation. Modern slave trades are ignored or merely not known about, but they do exist. Yet, it has taken on the new name of “human trafficking,” and it is truly taking place all over the world even though it is trying its hardest to fly under the radar of law enforcement because the moral issues with slavery have led to many disciplinary measures for those involved in human trafficking and all that it entails. Where does this underworld originate? Countries that are having the worst issues with modern slavery and human trafficking are generally those suffering from unstable governments or depressed economies. The shining promises of better working conditions and good wages in a distant foreign country act as powerful lures to the average citizen in these suffering countries, which in turn makes them very vulnerable to human trafficking scams. Also, situations that displace and disorient populations such as natural disasters or civil wars can provide a large number of people to be absorbed into bondage as well as certain social or cultural practices that can contribute to human trafficking. Here are some of the worse areas for modern slavery around the globe even though so many more countries are guilty of allowing this crime to go mostly unchecked.

1.
Sudan

The country of Sudan in central Africa is filled with its share of problems. However, while those base issues of war and poverty are powerful forces of negative entropy in themselves, they also contribute to a perfect climate for human trafficking. The group of people known as the Dinkas living in southern Sudan are probably one of the most publicized instances of modern slavery today. The Dinkas along with other animistic tribal groups of southern Sudan frequently have their lands invaded by the Arabic militias of the northern half of the country since the Arabs consider enslavement of the southern peoples a traditional right in addition to the cultural prominence of having personally owned slaves in their households known as “chattel slaves” where the enslaved people are defined as property. In 1993, the U.S. State Department looked into the issue to come up with some hard statistics and estimated that up to 90,000 black Africans were then owned by North African Arabs in a thriving slave trade where certain human beings could be sold for as little as $15 per person. While the condition of slavery in itself are terrible, the instances of slavery in Sudan take things a step further by enforcing physical mutilation as a way to prevent escape and as a way to carry out the ideology of the owners since many of the slaves are punished (the cutting of the Achilles tendon to create permanent mobility issues such as hobbling is one of the most favored techniques) if they do not convert to Islam once they are put into bondage. Branding of the slaves is also very popular since they are truly thought to be personal property and need to be identified as belonging to a specific owner.

2.
India

The caste system in India is one of the cultural contributors to exacerbate the forced child slavery in the country as in several other countries. However, the base issue is that these helpless children make for easy prey in the slave trade once they have been kidnapped from their homes and villages throughout India. These children are known as “carpet slaves” as they are forced to weave on massive looms just for enough food to survive in locked rooms. The current estimate is that between 200,000 and 300,000 Indian children are slaves in this cruel system. Some of these children are as young as five years old. They are kept in the locked warehouses where they work for ten to fourteen hours each day weaving on their looms before they are expected to clean out their work spaces and prepare for the next day. When it is finally time to sleep most of them are forced to find a soft patch of floor next to their looms or they are transported to nearby sheds. Drinkable water is often unavailable throughout the day or night, and food only consists of a few bread balls (called chapatis), onions, and salt.

3.
Pakistan

Slavery in Pakistan is part of an interesting situation. The Pakistani government passed a law in 1992 that bans landlords from offering work based loans or holding workers hostage for their debts. However, many of these landowners still illegally keep people who owe them debts to become cane harvesters. The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan has worked to free 7,500 of these slaves with real incurred debt who are kept physically shackled in leg irons since 1995. However, the Commission estimates that there are still approximately 50,000 of these bonded workers in the southern Singh area. Those that have been freed still fear becoming enslaved again. Therefore, they tend to live in makeshift camps after being freed rather than returning to their homelands where they run the risk of being recaptured.

4.
Dominican Republic

The Dominican Republic is a country that shares a small island in the Caribbean with the nation of Haiti. Slavery in this region has been a long held tradition as it was one of the primary stops of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, but once slavery was outlawed by the governments of the ruling empires in the area, the island became focused on simply working the sugar cane fields as hard as possible to make up for loss of income from slave trading. This intense emphasis on sugar cane production has not changed. However, since most of the world has turned a blind eye to the actions of this area, the wealthier side of the island (Dominican Republic) has found ways to pull people from the poorer half of the island (Haiti) into slavery. The forced labor these people must endure is more random than other areas of the globe that participate in human trafficking as slaves are collected only for the busy harvest season. The Dominican Army in collaboration with the State Sugar Council (called the CEA) takes Haitians off of public buses, arrests them at their jobs or even homes, and then delivers them into the sugar cane fields for slave labor.

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We’ve sure heard a lot about space tours for private individuals (make that private, rich individuals, since those tours should have space-high prices). And now, here comes another thrilling news—a plan of none other than a space hotel!

Representatives from Russian company Orbital Technologies told RIA Novosti news agency that they are planning to launch a space hotel by 2016. It would follow the same orbit as the International Space Station, but it would not follow how the ISS looks and feel inside—as the technological company’s CEO Sergei Kostenko puts it, a hotel is supposed to be comfortable, so interested parties may quit imagining of a cramped room with those button boards seen in movies.

The hotel’s main target market are wealthy individuals who want to experience lodging in space (we told you it’s for the rich) and representatives from private companies who wish to do some space research. The guests shall be able to have a look at the Earth while peeping through large potholes. Add to that the plan of hiring celebrity chefs to cook the guests’ foods before they leave for space.

Energia, Russian spacecraft manufacturer,  is responsible for building the Soyuz space capsules and Progress cargo ships that transports crew and supplies to the ISS. Moreover, it will also be responsible for the construction of the space hotel – though there is still no report on how they would actually do it. But as initially planned, the first space hotel module will be having four cabins that could house up to seven passengers. Russian and American investors are willing to put in some of their wealth for the project, but that is still tentative.

The hotel is not just intended for commercial purposes though. As Alexey Krasnov, head of manned space missions at Russian Federal Space Agency (Roscosmos) quipped, the planned cosmic hotel could be an emergency shelter for the ISS crew should anything wrong happens that would oblige them to evacuate.

There is still no released proposed price for the stay in the cosmic hotel, so let us just keep the excitement hanging. Anyway, we still have six more years before it comes to reality, so the lodging price should not yet be so much of a priority, isn’t it?